I had a horse, his name was Bill

    And when he ran, he couldn't stand still

    He ran away, one day And also, I ran with him.

    He ran so hard he couldn't stop

    He ran into a barber's shop

    He fell exhausted, with his teeth In the barber's left shoulder.

    Oh I went out into the woods last year

    To hunt for baar and not for deer

    At shooting birds, I am a beaut

    There is no bird I cannot shoot

    In the toe, in the ear, in the little finger.

    Oh, I went up in a balloon so big,

    That the people on earth all looked like a pig,

    Like a mice, like a geese,

    The balloon turned up, with its bottom side --higher,

    It fell on the head of a country squire,

    He made a noise-like a steamboat,

    And, also, like a popsicle.

    I had a gal and her name was Daisy

    And when she sang the cat went crazy

    With deliriums - St. Vituses - And all kinds of cataleptics.

    One day she sang a song about

    A man who turned himself inside out

    And jumped into the river

    He was so very sleepy.

    In Frisco Bay there lives a whale

    And she eats porkchops by the bale

    By the hatbox, by the pillbox, by the hogshead, by the schooner.

    Her name is Lena, she is a peach

    But don't leave food within her reach

    Or babies, or nursemaids, or chocolate ice cream sodas.

    She loves to laugh and when she smiles

    You just see teeth for miles and miles

    And tonsils, and spareribs, and things to fierce to mention.

    She knows no games so when she plays

    She rolls her eyes for days and days

    She vibrates, she yodels, and breaks the ten commandments.

    Oh, what can you do in a case like that

    Oh what can you do but sit on your hat