REUBEN, REUBEN
New words (C) musiclegacy
Click the button to hear the music 
Reuben, Reuben I've been thinkin'
What a glad world this would be
If the boys were all transported
Far across the Northern sea!
Rachael, Rachael I've been thinkin'
What a glad world this would be
If the girls were all transported
Far across the Northern sea!
Oh my goodness gracious Reuben,
what a weird world this would be,
If the girls were all transported
Far across the Northern sea!
Oh my goodness gracious Rachael,
what a weird world this would be,
If the boys were all transported
Far across the Northern sea!
Reuben, Reuben I've been thinkin'
Girls would lead a life of ease
If they had no boys to taunt them,
Nor be tickled, pestered, teased!
Rachael, Rachael I've been thinkin'
What a great life boys would lead,
If we had no girls interrupting,
Reminding of manners when we feed!
Reuben, Rachael I've been thinkin'
What a weird world this must be.
If across the sea I were transported,
You'd be swimming after me!
Spoofs:
Reuben, Reuben I've been thinking
What the heck have you been drinking?
It looks like water, tastes like wine.
Oh my gosh, it's turpentine!
I have a dog, his name is Rover.
He's a very clever pup.
He can stand up on his hind legs
If you hold the front ones up!
Reuben, Reuben I've been thinking
What a great world this would be,
If the boys were all transported
Far beyond the galaxy.
Variations:
Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking
Life would be so easy then;
What a lovely world this would be
If there were no tiresome men!
Rachel, Rachel, I've been thinking
Life would be so easy then;
What a lovely world this would be
If you'd leave it to the men!
Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking
If we went beyond the seas,
All the men would follow after
Like a swarm of bumble-bees!
Rachel, Rachel, I've been thinking
If we went beyond the seas,
All the girls would follow after
Like a swarm of honey-bees.
These are the original words:
Reuben, Reuben I've been thinking
What a fine world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the Northern sea!
Oh my goodness gracious Rachel
What a queer world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the Northern sea!
Reuben, Reuben I've been thinking
What a gay life girls would lead
If they had no men about them,
None to tease them, none to heed.
Reuben, Reuben stop your teasing,
If you've any love for me,
I was only just a-fooling
As I thought, of course, you'd see.
Rachel, if you'll not transport us,
I will take you for my wife,
And I'll split with you my money
Every payday of my life.
John-patrick Yeiser 
musiclegacy.com